They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
