Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
