You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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