Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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