I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
