I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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