Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
