new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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