I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
