I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
