Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize