That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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