just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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