i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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