He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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