whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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