Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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