Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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