Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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