fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
