what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
