walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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