3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
