don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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