They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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