Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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