I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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