are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
