Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
