Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
