The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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