i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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