just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
