He uses pillows to masturbate.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
