Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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