Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize