I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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