Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize