i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
