We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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