I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
