Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like eating out sand paper
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
