Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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