Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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