if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
