you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
