when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
