He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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