you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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