So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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