I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize