Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
