Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
