spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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