I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
