fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
