i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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